By now you will know I am a daydreamer. An introverted, who loves living in my rich inner world, wouldn’t care if I didn’t speak to anyone or leave the house for a week kind of daydreamer.
I also am despising all of the things I am meant to remember for my kids school life. I don’t think we had that much homework in Kindergarten or Year 2. But apparently parents need to do schoolwork.
I think my problem lies in the fact that I fear forgetting something, or not doing things right and therefore feel inadequate at parenting. It is hard enough actually getting my kids to take a shower let alone do their spelling lists.
I much prefer to see my kids use their creative skills to write me a story or draw a picture or create amazing palaces in Minecraft.
So basically the more my kids need to do, the more I have to nag and the more anxious and fed up I feel. I like peace, harmony and all that nice, relaxing stuff.
But onto the topic at hand. I love living in my head. But… it gets a little too much sometimes. I generally know when that has happened. I shut down. I look disinterested. Lethargic. Like I couldn’t care less. Lazy? But on the inside I am freaking out a little. My mind won’t stop. Ruminating. Deliberating. Procrastinating. Worrying. Confusion. Too many ideas and no plan. Questioning. Self-doubt.
It’s a bit of a downward spiral actually.
A healthier version of being in my thoughts looks more like this: Exciting. So many possibilites. I can do anything! Rich. Layered. Textured. Grateful. Connected. Inspired. Creative. Refreshed.
But staying there too long and I find myself in a funk.
So I am trying a new approach. To make it a priority to actually get into my physical body regularly through exercise (it is a challenge I am not going to lie), and also through learning the guitar (which will require concentration as well as learning a physical thing).
Backstory. I have Charcot Marie Tooth Disease which is a nerve disease affecting the peripheral nerves. My nerves are slowly deteriorating and I am losing function in my feet and hands. They are moderately affected and anything I do that involves my hands and feet are a major challenge.
So as you can imagine playing guitar is, and will continue to be a massive challenge. I may not even be capable of playing it to it’s full capacity, but I will try my best to play it to my full capacity.
I am considering videoing myself to gauge my progress. I am sure it will be confronting for me to see how much I struggle, but imagine how I will feel if I make some progress!
I also find if I am stuck in my head, a great thing to do is get up and do something. Although I am perfectly capable to participating in the real world whilst simultaneously daydreaming, but I feel it’s the act of getting up and moving the physical energy around my body, to get it unstuck and flowing again. Then I find my thoughts go back to being positive, flowing and productive.
If you are an introvert (INFP and ISFP in particular), you might be able to relate to this post.