My usual, predictable self is emerging. As expected. This feeling of uncertainty of where to share and what to share (when it comes to my interests, blogging, personal health and development journey). Too many accounts (even though I have actually taken a huge, massive break from scrolling social media). Too many email addresses. Too many facets to my personality.
It is overwhelming even though I have taken a big step back.
I can feel the boredom creeping back in. It often does around this time every month. I go inward (more than usual) for a week or so, and then I emerge bored. I don’t feel creative, but have an urge to be completing tasks in a “get shit done” kind of way. But without the energy to back these urges, I end up feeling agitated and a sense of falling behind in life creeps into my body.
I get those old feelings of wanting success but no idea what I would like to do.
I just have to wait it out and the feeling will eventually subside.
But back onto social media (and technology in general), because this has been the biggest thing going on (or more like not going on) in my life. I have seriously enjoyed not going on Facebook (except to make sure I don’t miss something from the school page). It has been nothing but wonderful having spent some time away from it, and thinking about pressing that little Facey app brings on anxiety.
I took a break from Instagram and Twitter too. It has been so refreshing. I have had space. I have given my mind a break from so much information (insert a calm zen feeling).
But… I have started to tinker on there again. But I have lost my direction. I am just not all that inspired, and I have realised that I am actually pretty boring and living a pretty boring life. There is nothing wrong with that. In fact, it is probably normal, and social media is as they say a “highlight reel” not “real life”, which I think we can forget sometimes.
I could honestly give it up for good (social media), but guess what? To grow a fan base, a following or a community, we need social media. It’s how we are meant to get our work/art out there. We are meant to share parts of ourselves so that we are likeable, share our expertise so we are trusted. Oh yeah, and planning and consistency is key.
But I am not always inspired to say something, or share something. The words planning and consistency are not my strong points (and I am so glad to finally own that – it takes a weight off of my shoulders). Actually, planning my social media for even a week was the most draining, life-sucking activity I have ever forced myself into. It felt so gross and icky.
So what are we meant to do? Suck it up and just post the darn things in a consistent, planned, purposeful manner? Probably. But I don’t like doing things in a way that doesn’t sit well with me. A friend once said to a group of our friends: “Vicky doesn’t give into peer pressure”. Which is true. Do what you want to do and I’ll do what I want to do.
But in this instance I don’t know what I want to do.
Okay, so getting real, I am happy to forego Facey. The less I am on there the better. I cannot tell you how often I would go on to check say my text messages, and end up with the Facebook app open, scrolling. So. No. More. Facebook. Unless. Absolutely. Necessary.
So now it’s just down to this blog and Instagram and Twitter. Where are you? Where should I be? What is going to be easier? I need help!!!