I am going to admit something here. I don’t like to use the term “self care”. I have no issue with others using it. But when I say it, or read where I have written it in past blog posts, well I feel really funny. Uncomfortable. I feel fake. I don’t feel like it holds enough weight or meaning to how I really feel about “taking care of myself”.
What is it about me using the term “self care” that makes me feel this way?
Is it because it is used so much in the world of wellness and I never used it, or heard anyone use it before (up until a few years ago)?
I am not really sure, but I’d like to dig deep and see what comes up.
So I am going to break it down. Walk you (and myself for that matter) through the feelings that come up when I say these two words –
I said it (I really did). I wrote it (several times in this blog so far).
The feelings/emotions that are surfacing..
Feelings of being misunderstood.
Fake, dishonest, not myself. Not words I use.
Why do I feel this way?
Not a serious enough word for such a serious issue?
It doesn’t resonate with me or ignites a feeling of passion and and fire within.
I can tell when a word really, truly resonates with me. The words that make me feel relaxed, easeful, and taps into a knowing within.
I really do feel that taking care of one self is so important. It’s vital. I’ve seen what it does to people who do not take their own needs seriously. I know what happens when I ignore my needs.
I get run down. Sick. Overwhelmed. I can’t think properly. I don’t eat properly. I snap. I stress. I forget about being present. I feel no joy. I have no fun. I feel numb. I don’t like how I feel.
For me, taking care of myself entails plenty of time for introspection. Plenty of time to daydream. Plenty of sleep. Plenty of space in my schedule, and times to not have to talk or think about other’s schedules.
It means time to follow my curiosity or urge to follow and idea. Space to do so. This is so important to me and comes in many different forms. I love the feeling of excitement in my tummy and a surge of motivation and energy, and I’m lit up. I want to cultivate more of this in my life.
Self-care is extremely important to me. I respect it. I see and feel the power in it.
Perhaps, for me, when these words float around in conversation, written in blog posts, in messages on social media, I can feel the perspectives, the judgment, from all of those who cannot yet see the depth and magic in self-care.
I don’t want to be misunderstood when I talk about self-care.
I feel I won’t be taken seriously if I use the term self-care.
I mean who am I to talk about needing self-care when I am in no way as busy as others. Especially when those “others” don’t have the opportunity or help to enable them to carve out a self-care practice? That it’s easy for me to find the time to do the things that replenish me, whilst other people have to work full time, raise children on their own, obligations and commitments they have no control over.
I don’t want to appear as though I don’t understand or empathise with those who lead full, relentless lives.
I know it’s silly, but I think that’s part of the reason I am hesitant to talk about self-care.
Perhaps I care what people think? I care that my perspective could be trivialised or misunderstood.
I can see a few options here (and some inner work to do). I can dig deep and see how I can change my perspective on using the term self-care.
Or I could just find a word or phrase that really truly feels right for me.
Maybe I can do both? Yes, I think so. That feels like the right path. I’ll work on that then. Settled.
If I were to share a message about self-care, it would be to look after yourself, care for yourself, and love yourself like a loving parent to a child. That’s how important, that’s how impactful it really truly is.
I would really love to hear your perspectives on self-care and if you refer to it by another name.
What does self-care look like for you? What replenishes you? How do you know when you need to immerse yourself in self-care?