A Few of the Things I have Learned About Myself During COVID

In January this year I decided my word of the year was going to “patience”.  Eight months on in one of the wildest years ever, I can now look back and see how important this word was going to be for me.

When I think of patience, the image that comes to me is one of introspection, calm, an inner knowing and trusting, and to focus attention on the here and now. It conjures a feeling of “everything will pan out and I don’t need to know step number 10”.

Being Patient Felt Calming

During the pandemic, I think many of us were forced into being patient. But seeing as though I had already, intuitively, intentionally went into the year with “patience” at the forefront of my mind, I felt a lot of calmness and reassurance around having to be patient.

So whilst practising patience, I learned a few things about myself. That I thrive off a slower pace, that following my curiousity gives me energy, that I do indeed crave deep relationships, that the day to day routine and relentless schedule of life seriously depletes me of energy (rather than make me feel grounded).

For the first time I actually had a chance to learn this about myself. And it felt so good.

Bringing this into reality on the other side of COVID

The thing is, I keep hearing all over the place that “we” should try to create a life that suits us (as we come out of the lockdowns etc) and to leave behind all of the “things” that aren’t working for us in anymore.

I believe that this can be done, even in my instance, but I don’t feel it will be an easy task. I mean, I operate best when I can get up and slowly potter around the house, take some time to sit and enjoy a cup of tea, and then eventually get onto some of those “jobs” and family commitments. But the outside world around me doesn’t allow me to work like this. I have primary school children, I have to get them ready and to school on time.

But what I can do right now, is allow my weekends to be slower, and not get agitated at myself for taking forever to get things done. Be patient with myself.

It is okay to spend an entire Saturday discussing ideas for my fiction story with my husband. It is okay to have a K-Drama marathon. It is okay to just do what feels good and that fills that cup of mine.

My creativity has returned

Something exciting has happened to me recently. My creativity has returned. I have a bunch of ideas for some fiction writing, I am almost finished a life coaching course and have just this week really felt into who my audience is, who I want to serve most (more to come about that later in a blog post), and I feel the most authentic and “complete” and natural than I have ever felt before!

I truly believe that this resurgence of creative energy and passion is due to me being able to take life at pace more in line with my energy and have my tank genuinely full for the first time.

I believe that patience is key to allowing the ideas to come to me (or surface). I also believe that forcing the ideas doesn’t actually make the ideas come. It is easier just to wait (be patient) – it saves the stress.

Be patient and the path will unfold one step at a time.