Sometimes I love to organise. Sometimes I am excited to declutter. It is a fleeting urge that goes away unless I take action straight away. If I give in to this urge, then momentum builds and a lot of overhauling takes place. Usually I end up overdoing it and become exhausted.
Who am I to ignore myself? That inner, deep down self? Who am I to hide the real me, and show the world someone I am not, or just a tiny part of me? Why would I think that others want me to pretend to be someone I am not? Why wouldn’t they want to meet and know the real me?
I run out of energy so easily. I am an introvert, so I need alone time to recharge, recalibrate. The world drains me.
My flavour of introversion means I get particularly overwhelmed and drained if I need to organise systems and people. I used to hate the fact I would try and set up a routine and not be able to stick to it. I hate having commitments. It makes me feel trapped and held down. I like spaciousness and freedom to do what I feel like doing.
After stumbling across Personality Hacker, an amazing website/podcast on personality types and personal growth, I discovered that for my personality type (INFP if you are wondering) this “problem” of wanting to delve into a million ideas is actually normal. Big sigh of relief!
An introvert, in basic drilled down terms, is someone whose “real world” is their inner world. They generally need time to themselves to re-calibrate as the outer world can be tiring to them.